Many parents struggle to parent their kids with ADD/ADHD. This is especially true if there is a comorbid (or co-existing) oppositional defiant disorder.
in general - there are two main parenting approaches that are helpful for this.
They are mutually exclusive - i.e. you can't do a little of each.
1) The 1-2-3 Magic Approach:
Dr. T. Phelan teaches a great parenting model, of how to set structure for your child. This approach can work for kids aged 2-12 years old. As a parent, you set rules, and enforce them without getting angry and losing your cool.
Dr. Phelan is not only a psychologist, but also a dad of an ADHD child. His info is helpful, practical and he delivers it with a sense of humor.
Dr. Phelan has a book, and DVDs (of the same material) and you can find them at: The ADHD Bookstore.
2) The Collaborative Problem Solving Approach:
Dr. Ross Greene is a Harvard Psychologist who has created this approach. It doesn't have the parent set the rules for the kids per se. Instead, it helps the parents to identify what the child's problems are, and then helps the child to find solutions. In a way, the parent acts as a 'frontal lobe' for the child. If the parent can make this system work, it gradually helps the child to figure out and solve issues so that the child is learning with time as well.
Dr. Greene has published this approach in his book: The Explosive Child.
You can find this book here: The ADHD Bookstore.
Please share which parenting approaches have worked for you in the comments below.
Dr. Kenny